Category: Guatemala

Well buff3ysbicyclingblog is now one of the fastest growing bicycle blogs out there thanks to you dear reader so we are increasing the content:

– Double the size of all cash prizes

– Even more pictures of me and my bike

– New songs with even more ridiculous lyrics.

28^th February (Flores) 

After having toured the Tikal ruins am spending the day in Flores to soak up the ambiance of this lovely [if not very heavily touristed] little island. Great to have internet cafes and expensive gringo food and  beer and loads of backpackers some of whom are sporting hippie regalia. The gringo hippies are really out in force and therefore I have been struck with inspiration for another song for the American Songbook. Therefore in honour of  the gringo hippies of Guatemala I have penned a little blues number (see below).

29^th February (Flores – Poptun) (105km)

1^st March (Poptun- Rio Dulce) (102km)

2^nd March (Rio Dulce)

Decided to hang out here next to the river for the day and soak up the pool at the $10 a night ‘resort’ and take in some of the jungle scenery. There are various tours to this and that all of which are being ignored by your fatigued correspondent.

3^rd March (Rio Dulce- Omoa) (142km)

Big ride across the border and into Honduras and then turned northwards up to the Caribbean coast. The road is flat enough but its hot and 142km is a big ride in this heat. At the end of the ride I park the bike against the nearest tree and dive to the Caribbean for the first time. Lovely.

Blues song for the gringo hippies of Flores (in E minor)

[Bongos, didgeridoo, fire dancer, guitar]

Now, my thinking’s kind-a hazy

But my gaze is real intense

I’m spouting spaced-out gibberish

and none of it makes sense

 

I got them…..

Meaningless crap spoutin’ gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

Yeah dem meaningless crap spoutin’ gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

You think its drug-addled jibber

More like Jean-Paul Sartre meets Rodney Rude

 

Now, I’ve given up on bathing

I’m hard on the ol’ whiffer

I’d like to think I smell like spring

But others beg to differ

 

I got them,….

Plain ol’ BO, bad smellin’, gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

Yeah dem plain ol’ BO, bad smellin’, gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

I blame the dog for fartin’,

But my shit-catchers’ gone and caught dem poos

 

[2 hour Bongo and Didgeridoo solo]

 

Now, I like to play the bongos

Don’t need to play ‘em well

I can play the same for hours and hours

And bore the place to hell

 

I got them….

Borin’, non-stoppin’, irritatin’, gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

Yeah dem borin’, non-stoppin’, irritatin’, gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

You hear a no talent loser,

I hear Mozart’s symphony for bongo and didgeridoos…

 

[another hour of bongo solo]

 

Now, I’ll sell you bits of crystal

They got a mystic aura

The power to make me more the rich

And you the more the poorer

 

I got them…..

Floggin off chipped-glass-crap gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

Yeah dem floggin off chipped-glass-crap gringo hippie in Guatemala blues

 [Repeat ad nausium ad infinitum]